Guide
Every “Are My Neighbors Karens?” Question, Explained
The neighbour quiz points the Karen Meter across the fence. Same scoring, same four-step ladder from zero to three, but this time you are rating the household next door on twelve very ordinary neighbourhood moments. Here is each scenario, each answer, and what it tells you — with the caveat that you are the one holding the clipboard.
A word before you score them
Every answer here describes your neighbour's behaviour as you have observed it. That makes the quiz half a portrait of them and half a portrait of your attention. If you find yourself confidently picking “3” on every question, one possible reading is that you live next to a difficult household. Another is that you have been keeping notes. Both are worth knowing.
1. A package lands on the wrong porch
- Walks it over with a smile (0)
- Texts the group chat (1)
- Photographs it “for the record” (2)
- Files a report with the courier and the HOA (3)
The friendliest possible test. A misdelivered parcel is a thirty-second favour. Photographing it treats a favour as an incident; reporting it treats an incident as a case.
2. You put the bins out a day early
- Doesn't care in the slightest (0)
- Quietly rolls them back for you (1)
- Leaves a little note (2)
- Emails the whole block a “reminder” (3)
The bins are the great neighbourhood battleground. Rolling them back is scored as a one because it fixes the thing without a word. The block-wide email is a three because it is a public correction addressed to everyone and aimed at you.
3. You play music at a reasonable hour
- Taps a foot and enjoys it (0)
- Never mentions it (1)
- Asks you to lower it a touch (2)
- Threatens to call the city (3)
“Reasonable hour” is the whole question. A polite request is only a two because the volume was, by definition, fine; the same request at midnight would be entirely fair. Threatening the authorities over daytime music is reaching for the biggest lever on the wall.
4. There's a basketball hoop in the cul-de-sac
- Joins the game (0)
- Just drives around it (1)
- Suggests moving it “for safety” (2)
- Petitions to have it removed (3)
A test of whether shared space is shared. “For safety” is a two because the concern is sometimes sincere and sometimes a costume. The petition is a three because it converts a mild preference into an organised campaign against children playing.
5. Your lawn is one day past “tidy”
- Genuinely never notices (0)
- Doesn't mind at all (1)
- Makes a pointed comment (2)
- Measures the grass height with a ruler (3)
Boundary policing. The pointed comment is a two because it is directed at you rather than at the grass. The ruler is a three, and it is not entirely a joke: some homeowners' associations really do specify grass height, and some neighbours really do measure it.
6. You put holiday decorations up “too early”
- Loves the festive spirit (0)
- Shrugs it off (1)
- Jokes that it's a bit early (2)
- Cites the neighbourhood decoration calendar (3)
A gentle one. The joke scores a two only because it is a comment on your choices at all. The decoration calendar is a three because it is a rule invoked as a weapon, whether or not it actually exists.
7. A guest parks in “their spot” on the public street
- Believes there's no such thing as their spot (0)
- Lets it slide (1)
- Mentions it politely (2)
- Blocks them in “to teach a lesson” (3)
The invented entitlement. A public street belongs to nobody, which is why merely mentioning “their” spot scores a two. Blocking a car in is a three and, in most places, the only answer in the quiz that could get somebody in actual legal trouble.
8. A new family moves in next door
- Bakes them a welcome pie (0)
- Waves a friendly hello (1)
- Notes their licence plate (2)
- Runs a full background “vibe check” (3)
Suspicion as a default setting. Nothing has happened yet in this scenario; the new family has simply arrived. Scoring is about how much surveillance a neighbour applies to people who have done nothing at all.
9. The garbage truck is 15 minutes late
- Barely registers it (0)
- Just waits (1)
- Checks the schedule online (2)
- Calls the sanitation department by name (3)
A problem that fixes itself, usually within the quarter-hour. Checking the schedule is a mild two. Knowing the sanitation department by name, and using it, is the neighbourhood equivalent of the regional-manager demand.
10. Your dog says hello over the fence
- Slips it a treat (0)
- Gives it a friendly pat (1)
- Asks you to keep it on your side (2)
- Documents each “incident” with timestamps (3)
The documentation reflex again, this time applied to a dog. Asking you to keep the dog back is a fair two — not everyone likes dogs — but the timestamped log is a case file for a crime that consists of a wagging tail.
11. You host a small backyard get-together
- Wanders over to join (0)
- Waves from the deck (1)
- Peeks through the blinds a few times (2)
- Counts the cars and notes the end time (3)
Ordinary sociability versus surveillance. The blinds are a two because everyone is a little curious. Counting cars and logging the end time is evidence-gathering in advance of a complaint that has not been made yet.
12. The community sends a block-party invite
- Is first to RSVP yes (0)
- Shows up and has fun (1)
- Attends, but critiques the set-up (2)
- Submits a list of required permits (3)
The closer measures whether your neighbour can enjoy something they did not organise. Critiquing the set-up is a two. The permit list is a three because it uses process to punish enthusiasm.
Reading the result honestly
A high neighbour score describes a real pattern of surveillance, rule-invoking and escalation, and our guide to handling neighbourhood disputes is built for exactly that household. But if most of your answers were guesses filled in by irritation, consider taking the self quiz next. The Meter is more useful pointed at the mirror.
Keep reading
- Every “Am I a Karen?” question, explained
- The HOA Karen: surviving neighbourhood disputes
- The six Karen tiers, explained
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